Pringles are the Anti-Christ

Let me start of by saying that I very rarely eat potato chips. I know that sounds like a lie coming from a fat girl and all. But, I have gall-stones, and potato chips cause me much more pain than they are worth. So, I try to avoid them at all costs.

Today however, I made an exception. I had just loaded up on groceries and was heading to the school to pick up the boys. The boys love pringles, so I thought I would surprise them with a favorite snack.

As I was driving along I realized that I hadn't eaten lunch and I was hungry. So, I decided to open the pringles and have a few. They wouldn't miss a couple. I took out a small stack and started savoring each delicious chip.

I'm driving, listening to music, enjoying the sunshine, and I quickly munch through my small stack of pringles. Oh, since I haven't had lunch, a few more won't hurt.

Doot dee doot de dooo, I'm still driving along bopping to the tunes, and again, I'm quickly out of pringles. Just a few more. . . And a few more . . . and a few more . . .

The next thing you know I am tipping up the empty can to drink the last of the crumbs and frantically hiding the evidence under the car seat as I pull into the school parking lot.

I'm already feeling sick to my stomach and having acid reflux. Not to mention feeling insanely guilty for breaking my diet with one pathetic can of chips.

I get the kids loaded and we head for home. We are close to home and a raft of ducks runs across the road in front of my van and I have to slam on the brakes. (I googled it and a bunch of ducks is called a raft. Weird, eh?) So, anyways, I slam on the brakes and the darn pringles can rolls out from under the seat.

Naturally, my 6 year old spots it immediately. He doesn't miss a beat. "Mom! Did you get us some pringles????"

"Oh honey, that's from a long time ago." I sweetly lie to him.

"Can you buy us some pringles some time? They're my favorite. Do you have a coupon?" he says so innocently.

OK, so now I feel like total crap. I lied to my precious son, I am burping up acidic portions of chewed potato chips, I've consumed over 1000 calories that I didn't even appreciate, and I have a serious case of pringles-breath.

By the time I get home, I'm in so much pain that I have beads of sweat rolling down my face, my stomach is churning, and I have heart burn so bad that actual flames are shooting from my mouth.

So I have decided that pringles are evil. They force me to lie, cheat, and they are contributing to global warming by forcing humans to emit toxic gases. And seriously, each can should just be considered one friggen serving because it's impossible to not eat the entire can. I will try to remember all this the next time I buy some . . .