April Fools

First and foremost, let me tell you that I am not a big fan of April Fool’s Day. I am gullible 365 days of the year, so I really don't need a full day to celebrate it. (Can you say "Sham Wow?"?) And, the only thing I could sucker someone into believing is that I am pregnant again, and, well, that JUST. . . ISN'T . . . FUNNY.

So, in honor of today being April Fool's Day and all, I am going to list all the things that may or may not have happened to me yesterday. It is up to you to decide which ones are April Fools . . .

While enjoying my morning coffee I may or may not have heard on the news that my Sham Wow pal Vince was arrested for beating up a hooker. . .

While attempting to do my hair with the new curling iron I bought to replace the one I may or may not have dropped on the floor after burning my forehead, I may or may not have realized too late that the barrel was smaller, and therefore, I may or may not have been sporting 80's bangs and a mild Jerry-curl (and coincidentally, another burnt forehead). . .

While driving into work I may or may not have heard on the radio that Justin Timberlake was in town filming a music video and I may or may not have said a silent prayer that for the first time in weeks I had my hair down and I was not wearing my spandex sausage suit but rather a black suit that may or may not have made me look flabulous. (Flabby yet FABULOUS). . .

I may or may not have posted on my Face Book site that Justin Timberlake was stalking me again. . .

I may or may not have entertained the idea for more than 20 minutes that Justin Timberlake could actually be in town before realizing it was an April Fool’s Joke . . .

I may or may not have spent far too much time at work gossiping with everyone about Justin Timberlake . . .

I may or may not have left work to pick up the kids at 2 to only realize that on Tuesdays they do not get picked up until 3 . . .

I may or may not have used the extra hour I had to go to Taco Bell and the Liquor Store. . .

I may or may not have been seen in the Liquor store with taco meat on my shirt and lettuce in my hair . . .

I may or may not have been really embarrassed when the sales clerk at the Liquor Store pulled a band-aid sized piece of lettuce from my hair at the checkout . . .

I may or may not have a drinking problem and that is why I am continually seen at the liquor store . . .

I may or may not have been too lazy to cook and fed the kids popcorn, Easter Eggs, and carrot sticks for dinner and said we were having a “movie picnic” . . .

I may or may not have taken a picture of “the money I could be saving on Geico” and considered posting on this blog . . .

I may or may not have had 2 glasses of “the body of Christ” for my dinner . . .

I may or may not have fallen asleep on the couch at 8:15 and missed most of American Idol . . .

I may or may not be going to hell because I may or may not have made the comment to Paco that I am surprised the blind guy didn’t sing a Stevie Wonder song for Motown week . . .

I may or may not want to hit the blind guy with a baseball bat because his voice may or may not make me really crazy and violent. . .

I may or may not be telling the truth and all of the above actually happened yesterday. April Fools???