The Big Night Out

I had the rare opportunity to get out of the house this past Saturday night without the hubby and kids. I started off the evening by going to a Tastefully Simple party at a Girlfriend's house. I had never been to one before and I must say for over-priced, pre-packaged food, it is pretty darn yummy. And, it all only takes 1 or 2 ingredients for you to be able to qualify for "home-made" status. We started out with samples of garlic dip and beer bread. What is better than beer and garlic? Maybe a bacon cheese ball? Or chocolate pound cake? I'm drooling again.

Well, before I left, I managed to spend a week's worth of groceries on 2 dip mixes, 3 loaves of bread mix, and a cheese ball. But, it was tasty, so I'm not complaining. My fear is that I will become addicted to the stuff and can somehow justify a 7.95 cake mix on a regular basis.

Well, after 2 loaves of beer bread, I was feeling a slight buzz. So, I headed off to meet up with my Niece at a bar downtown. There was a band playing that she really wanted me to hear. (She had been inviting me for months and months, but with a name like 10 Man Push, I thought she was inviting me to a male stripper show. So, I kept politely declining. Sorry, I don't care how hot you are, but lubed up men hanging out in banana hammocks shaking their willies in my face just don't do it for me. I can get that at home for free.)

Well, they were playing at a Downtown Bar/Restaurant that I used to frequent "back in the day." The name is different, but the inside is still the same. And, it brought back lots of crazy memories. And, boy did I feel old.

I haven't been out to a College bar, since, well, since College. So, I wasn't sure how to behave. Should I act like a civilized adult and quietly sip my drink and completely stand out and look like the ol' lady that I am, or should I be trying to relive the glory days and be singing along at the top of my lungs stalking the band guys and puking in the corner next to the crowd of hot frat boys.

Obviously I opted for Plan A and I quietyly sipped my vodka and soda while hanging out and enjoying the scenery. It is so much more fun to go to a College bar as an innocent bystander. You can really learn so much about people and the world by hanging out in a bar on a Saturday night.

I'll share with you some of the things that I learned on my recent outing. Here is my top ten list of what I learned on Saturday night:

10. Women will sacrifice anything for fashion. A bartended in 4" stiletto boots and women walking around in 11 degree weather with tank tops just wouldn't fly anywhere other than a bar.

9. Girls still hit on the guys in the band. (Even if they are so ugly that if they were mere accountants you wouldn't even give them a second glance.)

8. Boy bartenders put far more alcohol in your drink than girl bartenders do.

7. My neice is a hussy. I mean, having 2 different boyfriends show up at the same time and forcing them to sit next to each other and chat? Um, can you say Huss-Bag? (But, I am afraid that she could have learned this from me many, many years ago. I may have had a serious boyfriend or 2 when I met my future husband. Therfore, I still love her dearly and will not hold this against her. Actually, I am rather proud.)

6. A greasy slice of pizza at midnight is still the greatest snack in the whole-wide-world.

5. Even though I have wrinkles and my ass hangs off the side of the bar stools, men still hit on me. When I show them my wedding ring and they still don't get the hint, I show them my mini-van keys. That usually does the trick.

4. The song Jenny Jenny (867-5309) is still pretty darn cool. Especially when the lead singer of the band is looking right at you making the "call me" sign.

3. The band 10 Man Push is really just 2 guys. And, thankfully they are not strippers.

2. There is no way I can take a man drinking a glass of white wine in a College bar seriously. I don't care how cute he is.

and the number one thing that I learned on my big night out??

1. I am soooooo thankful that I got that scene out of my system many years ago.

I did have a really good time. The band was good, and I was out with a fun group of Girlfriends. Hey, I even managed to stay up past 11. But, I am so thankful that I had Paco waiting at home for me. The best part about going out? Coming home to someone I love. Cheesy, but true.