Paco's Coming Out

We had a very unique crisis in my household the other day. Somehow in the midst of acting like a 6 year old and playing "you can't find me" with the kids, my dear 39 year-old hubby Paco managed to lock himself in the closet in one of the kid's room. Somehow the knob fell off but the mechanism remained inside.

I happened to be hiding in the bathroom, on the phone with a Girlfriend while this was happening, so, I was blissfully unaware of all the commotion in the other room.

My youngest, Trey, did come into the bathroom and start screaming something and waving a golden orb at me, which I assumed was a broken toy or something, however, I quickly ssshhhhed him and told him to get out. A few minutes later he came running back in hollering and waving his arms. This time I may have said something like "if you don't be quiet and get out of here right now I am going to rip off your arm and beat you with it!" Or something along those line.

About 5 minutes later my oldest son comes running in with a powerdrill in his hand. "Mom, I'm not joking. We're having an emergency. Dad is stuck in the closet."

OK, so now he has my attention. "So what do you mean Dad is stuck in the closet?" I ask.

"Come here and see" he says as he starts dragging me out of the room. I quickly say "goodbye" to the Girlfriend and go to investigate.

Upon entering the kid's room I see the floor is covered with various tools. There are scissors, pliers, hedge trimmers, a steak knife, wire cutters, a phillips head screwdriver, a plastic hammer, and a bag of fruit snacks scattered on the floor. (Trey thought Daddy might be hungry so he was feeding him fruit snacks through the small hole.)

Clearly, my kids were ready for action. However, my first reaction was to prolong the incarceration and drag this out and really torture my dear Paco. So, I lean up next to the door and whisper "Hey handsome. Why you hiding in the closet? Are you stuck?" I purr dermurely.

I hear a muffled "yes" come through the door.

"I'm sorry pookie-bear, what did you say? I am having a hard time hearing you."

I hear another grunt and a mumbled "yes" come through the door.

"What sweetie? I didn't get that." I say

"YES I AM STUCK IN HERE!" He yells at me.

"Is it dark in there?" I ask.

"Yeeesss" he retorts very sarcastically.

"Well then, maybe you should have installed those lights the last 14 times I asked you." (Hey I had a captive audience and I had to get my point across. However, I am quite sure the lights will be installed in the closet by this weekend.)

I pass a 2' long screwdriver in to Paco and he manages to pry the door away from the frame and push it out enough that the door finally pops open.

Slowly a very embarrased 39 year old man with his head wagging low begins to emerge from the closet wearing his tattered t-shirt and boxer briefs.

Naturally I say "Nice to see you finally coming out of the closet, dear."

That should be enough punishment for one day, but of course I have to take it one step further and remind the kids to tell their teachers that Daddy finally came out of the closet this weekend.

I'd like to see how he explains that one.