Stupid People

I don't want to start off sounding like I have some sort of God complex, because that certainly isn't the case. However, I have had my fill of stupid people this week. (And it's only wednesday. ugh) And, I'm not talking mildly stupid, I am talking the person that see's you in a boat, on a lake, with a fishing pole in your hands and asks you if you are going fishing. That kind of stupid. (Here's your sign kind of stupid)

It started on Sunday, when I was pulling into the parking garage at work. All the gates were up, and there was a large sign on the toll booth that said "free parking evenings and weekends". However, a lovely woman from NJ was holding up the entrance because she couldn't "get the damn machine to spit her out a ticket."

"Um, lady, it's free today. That means there are no tickets. " So she gives me a dirty look and speeds away. Uh, you're welcome.

Monday I get a phone call at work from some automated woman telling me that my auto warranty was due to expire.

It was the third call in like 15 minutes, so I figured I'd wait to talk to someone to get the number removed from their call list. Our work van is so old that the warranty expired in like 1982. So, after hitting 44 buttons I finally get through to a cheery person that asks "Are you ready to extend your auto warranty?"

I try to be funny and tell her that my van is older than dirt and I really don't need to worry about a warranty, and I just want to be removed from their calling list. She cheerily informed me that their warranty program does cover classic cars. My beater van is a classic? I never looked at it that way. I politely say "no thanks, please just remove this number from your calling list."

She proceeds to ask me if I have the funds to pay for an engine replacement out of pocket. Or, a new transmission. Because those repairs are covered under their plan. She clearly isn't taking now for an answer. So, I played along. She went down her list and asked me a series questions. After about 10 minutes, she says "ma'am I really think that this plan makes sense for you. For only $1999 you can have complete piece of mind." Hello Dolly, um, "that is more than I paid for the darn van. Please just remove me from your calling list."

And, I swear to God, this woman says "well, thanks for wasting my time" and hangs up the phone on me. Hmmm, now I wasted HER time. Interesting concept.

That should have met my stupid people quota for the week, but there's more. Unfortunately.

I went to Wal-Mart to buy a bunch of clearance Valentine merchandise. I was getting some frames, candles, and a bunch of shiny foil hearts to use at the store next year. I counted that I had 32 shiny foil hearts. I even double counted, and yep, 32 shiny foil hearts. I told the woman at the check out that I had 32 shiny foil hearts. And do you know what she did? She scanned each one individually. Really. And when they wouldn't scan, instead of just using the bar code from another one, she would enter the numbers manually on the keypad. 14 minutes and 2 fistfuls less of hair later, I finally was able to pay and leave the store.

But the stupidest person of all????? That would be the lady at Home Depot looking at door knobs for 10 minutes and pulling her hair out and finally asking a 17 year old clerk why all the packs come with two knobs because she only needs one. "Ma'am, um, that is just one knob. One goes on the inside of the door, and one goes on the outside of the door." The woman turned 14 different shades of red, grabbed the first knob she could find, and ran from the store. That woman would also happen to be me. Yes, I really thought I was much smarter than that. Here's MY sign . . .