It Takes A Village

As I am typing, the sounds of "Vacation" by the Go-Go's are swirling in my head. Since today starts the official beginning of our vacation, I am going to skip my normal ranting, and instead I am going to post something by my extremely hysterical Girlfriend Amy "Boom-Boom" B. (Official names have been changed to protect innocent families and wives from the wrath of deranged husbands.) This is something she emailed me and another Girlfriend the other day when we were all stuck home with sick kids. We are soo gonna write a book together. I totally peed myself whilst reading . . . (I LOVE the word whilst. I didn't make it up either.)


It Takes A Village , by Girlfriend Amy


Ok, so we are all home with sick kids...Miss M. came home with a fever...no other symptoms, and looked awful. Once she had some soup (Oh Lipton Cup O'Noodle, why didn't I buy your stock shares?) she seems to be on the rebound....Girlfriend J.--your comment about Z-man being active despite the fever pretty much sums up our house right now...

Since I'm getting caught up on everything I blew off over the weekend, I guess it's a productive day. Of course, when I have no vacation time left at the end of the year I will be happy that the laundry was caught up once. (eye twitch). And I can't find my mop! I know it's been a while, but how the hell does someone lose a mop? I'd ask the hubby, but I know that he wouldn't even know that we owned a mop, and that will lead into some comment about me wearing a french maid's outfit and he'll allude that I could dust his balls or something....

Overshare much? Between this and my comment about you two prostituting for groceries I imagine that you'll never open a message from me again....

With that, I have been thinking about how how we are each in our own homes, with our designated sick kid, and maybe there is something behind the "it takes a village" theory.....

so, imagine that we are in our village in the rainforest, while our sick kids recover....I think it may go a little something like this:

-There would not be snow predicted for tomorrow's weather forecast. We could complain about how the endless rain makes our hair frizz

-All the kids would be in their hammocks, if one of us was walking by we could give their forehead a quick check, swing the hammock a little bit, and go back to our spot around the fire

-The men would be out hunting a boar or wild pig (or are those the same?) and we would compare recipes about how to best cook it, as well as swap the leftovers--kind of like a Rainforest Buffet

-We could sit around the fire and laugh about how the Village Whore thinks she is so sexy, but really we know that she has stuffs her coconut bra with leaves and she really isn't as endowed as the men think she is

-There would be a steady supply of fermented fruit (I may not know how to build a fire, but I will figure out how to get wine of some sort)

-We could compare how to wrap ourselves in palm leaves that best accentuates our figures

-We could rearrange the hammocks in our huts. Then when the menfolk came home after the hunt, they could complain that their hammock wasn't where is was that morning, and they'll "totally crash into it when going out for a pee in the early morning hours, and why can't we just leave the hut as it was"

-We could gossip about how the couple in the hut next door were arguing because he wants her to dress up in a sarong that is much shorter than she finds acceptable

So, I think that really, there is a good purpose behind the "takes a village" approach....at least we could all chat and have a coffee or something while the kids recover. And I just watched Miss M. "recover" by being angry that there is a tv commercial. Clearly she is regaining her strength....

And I think that there is something questionable going on between Moose A. Moose and Zee on the Noggin channel. Those 2 spend a lot of time together, and I don't think either one wears pants.

Good luck girlfriends, hope the kids feel better soon so they can return for a HALF day tomorrow and NO SCHOOL on Thursday. Not that I'm bitter.....

(and where the hell is my mop??? Now I'm tempted to get once of those steamy ones that they sell on tv...the H2O mop or whatever it's called...I've already been conned by the Sham Wow...that Vince guy deserves getting bit by that hooker).