A Cure for the Blues

I'm blue. Sad. Slightly depressed. Completely bummed.

In my one attempt at Olympic Freefalling I managed to completely wipe out any fun plans I may have had for the summer. I have completely torn my ACL, put 2 tears in meniscus, wiped out my ligaments, and cracked my tail bone. I'm a hurtin' pup, to say the least. I'm an Orthopaedic Dream! I did some other stuff too which I don't really quite understand. But the gist of it is that I bruised my bones in such a way that it created a large amount of internal bleeding, some of which has calcified in my knee. So, I'm also seeing a vascular surgeoun. (And apparantly he's HOT. So, that could be fun.)

I have been to see two different Orthopaedic Surgeons and I have been given two different courses of action. But there are two distinct similarities: One - My golf game is over for the year and TWO - my crutches will be my best friend for the rest of the summer. Not what I wanted to hear. (And by the way, do you have to be a Grumpy Old Man to be an Orthopaedic Surgeon? I'm noticing a trend. . .)

Normally I beat the blues with mass quantities of chocolate. However, I have screwed that up too. Since I am limited with my movements, I have to be very careful of what I eat now too. I have been on a quest to lose weight since January, and sadly my ars is bigger than ever. (If you say ars instead of ass it is not swearing. My Dr. told me that.) My mom came and cleaned out my pantry of all that is good and filled it with fiber puffs and bulgar wheat. (She can be a party pooper sometimes. Even though she has my best interests at heart. Does anyone know if they make chocolate dipped fiber puffs????)

Normally in times of depression, I look to two things that never fail me - Jewelry and purses. They ALWAYS fit. No matter how big my ars is. So, I am looking to all you lovely ladies to help cure my Blues. I am hosting a Lia Sophia book show, and I need you all to buy something. Yes, I know, this is major guilt. However, you will all be helping to save a seriously depressed soul in her time of need. Screw the casseroles, hook me up with some bling. (I promised you that as I lie here on my couch typing right now I am wearing a fabulous pair of earrings. I am wishing I had a tiara too. I think Paco would take my orders much more graciously if I was wearing a tiara.) Oh, and the deal is, if you buy 2 items at regular prices, you get 4 items at half price. And you can use the half off deal on the most expensive stuff. Isn't that GREAT?????????

I have already picked out over $1400 worth of jewelry that I want, so I really need to sell, sell, sell. I have this fabulous idea that we should all get the Surge ring and it will be like our secret society decoder ring. We will see each other on the street and we will know that we are Girlfriends. Wouldn't that be fun? Our own private club! We can come up with secret shakes and passwords and everything. Clearly I have lots of time on my hands to think of these things. Oh, but I absolutely must have the Moonlight earrings too. Maybe we could use those instead. Hmmmm. But, I also LA-HOVE the Moon dance bracelet. Oy. Decisions, decisions. Now you see why I need you all to buy something. Please, please, pretty-please with sugar on top!!!!!

The way it works is that you buy yourself some fabulous jewelry at fabulous sale prices, and I get credits, and in the end I will get some free bling. It is win-win! Mother's Day is around the corner, so you can even buy your Mom something fabulous. (I am hoping to get free jewels for my Mom since I am still bitter about the fiber bit.) And remember if you buy two items at full price you get up to four more items at any price for half off. And you can use the half off on the higher priced items. Isn't that great? My LA roomate is a Lia Sophia sales manager and she encouraged me to host a party. Naturally after looking at the catalogue I was immediately hooked.

Go to liasophia.com/coleenmckeown
Click our jewelry. You will have full access to the current catalogue.
After you order your first item, you will have to put in Jennifer Pawlewicz as your hostess name. (so I get the credits. Don't forget that part. I need all the credits I can get.) And you can check out right there. They take visa, mastercard, and discover. They will ship your order right to you.

Sorry to use the guilt thing on you. Well, if it gets me some cool jewelry for free and some more for sale prices, then I'm not that sorry. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Oh, and don't forget to shop at Habitat of Ithaca while your at it. I am in such pain. Ouch. I can feel my knee aching right now. Help a sister out. (Insert guilt-inducing puppy dog eyes here.) Just remember, I am in a wheelchair for the entire summer. And it is up to you to make sure that I am well accessorized in my new throne.

Orders need to be in by May 10th. I have lots of catalogues if you need one, let me know!

Thanks in advance for any orders. I promise, I will let everyone borrow my baubles.