Learning the lingo

I don’t think it’s a big secret that I am not the most technologically advanced. I am slowly learning the ropes. It may take me a few tries, but eventually I am able to figure things out.

I am very proud to confess that in addition to my presence on FaceBook, I am now tweeting on Twitter. That sounds very kinky, but in actuality it is very innocent. Twitter is a site that basically allows everyone to give a brief sentence to let the world know what they are up to. It’s basically just the status update part of Facebook. But the fun part of Twitter is that you can follow anyone, and you don’t need to get permission. For instance, I am currently following Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, and Chewbacca. Chewbacca mainly just says things like “Arggghhhhuuuurrr” and “Rrraaaagggeeuurrr”, but I can totally relate. (Um just so you don’t think that I have all sorts of time on my hands, I actually went to a small business seminar and they recommend that you connect yourself on all these social networking sites so that people can relate to you on a more personal level and they will feel like they know you personally when they shop your store. In theory that is great. But when I tweet about hooker boots and xanax somehow I feel like I might be taking a step in the wrong direction. Ooops.)

The thing I have the most trouble with right now is probably one of the most basic. My cell phone. My cell phone is probably far more advanced than I could ever possibly need. I use the phone for 4 things: making phone calls, taking pictures, an alarm clock (laugh now, but every Monday through Friday I get an obnoxious buzzing sound at 1:30 pm that reminds me I need to go and pick up my kids. Without it I’m sure I would be late 95% of the time) and texting. The fact that my phone has internet, GPS, and music playing capabilities is all beyond my capabilities.

The texting part is a still bit advanced for me. I am one of the few people on the planet that must text with proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. So I am not very fast to say the least. And I am still learning all the texting lingo. For the longest time I thought LOL meant “Lord oh Lord”. (It’s far more fun than “laugh out loud” don’t you think?)

Well recently I have been turned on to WTF, which in texting lingo means “What the F.?” And I just love it. I have a whole “What the????” face and sound that I make every time I see it or type it. It is so much fun to just sort of wrinkle up your face, squint your eyes, and say “What the . . . .???” You don’t even need the swear word. I find myself thinking it all the time now. And I will often just give people (aka Paco) the “look” now. I don’t even say it. He totally knows my WTF face now. He even has his own version.

But it’s so much fun to throw it into everyday living.

“Honey, I made tacos for dinner.” WTF?? (Insert wrinkled face making the WTF look)

“Babe, the dog just puked up a green army man on the leather couch.” WTF???

“Mom, I’ve got skid marks.” WTF????

It’s my private little joke. And for some reason, I over-use it to such a point that I find it absolutely hysterical. (Yes, I know, I need to up my meds.)

I am slowly starting to learn the proper texting lingo, as I have had to ask my niece just about every time someone texts me something beyond my basic knowledge.

I will share some of the lingo that I have learned recently, and some that I have created because I think it is far more fun.

LMAO- laughing my ass off

ROFL – rolling on the floor laughing

LSHIS – laughing so hard I sharted (a shart is a moist fart that leaves behind
residue Mom. I know you will ask)

PM – peed myself

TNTSTK – trying not to strangle the kids

As I am starting to master the acronyms, I am now moving on to making the smiley faces and winky faces. I am quite proud that I recently learned how to make a heart! (The less than sign with the number 3)

I have even figured out how to twitter my status updates on my cell phone so that they automatically update on my Facebook page. WTF??? Yes, I agree that sounds very technologically advanced, and I am quite proud to say that I actually know what it all means. (Even if I did have to have somebody else show me how to do it.)

So, if you are tweeting, I’m JPwiczer. Follow me, and I’ll follow you. And if you have no idea what I am talking about, well that’s ok too. We all have to start somewhere.