The New Nancy Kerrigan

We had a wonderful weekend of mild weather here in Central NY. It was in the high 40's, and the snow melted and created a wonderful world of mud and ice.

For those of you that are not lucky enough to experience the wonderful winters of NY, I will tell you that this year has been unusually bad. We have had several weeks of brutal cold. So, our little warm spell this weekend was much appreciated.

That was until I attempted to walk to my car this morning. . .

The temperature dropped again, so I was rushing to start the car so it could have time to warm up. I ran out in my jeans, my bra, and my slippers. (I live on a country road, so I had no worries about anyone seeing me, and I was only going to be a minute, right?)

Well, I noticed that the driveway was icy, so I was being extra careful. I didn't quite dawn on me that my slippers could be considered weapons of mass destruction on the ice, so I just trudged along very carefully.

I was about 3 feet from my car door when I attempted a triple-sow-cow-double-toe-loop combo, and landed ass-over-teacups with a loud thud.(Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't register on the Richter scale.) One slipper flew clear across the yard, and I landed about 20 feet behind my van, on my stomach. I'm quite sure I may have set a world record with the amount of in-air rotations that I was able to complete. However, I failed to nail the landing.

At first, I laid still to assess the extent of damage. Everything began to hurt at once, so I wasn't quite sure where to begin. I decided to get up very carefully and see if I was alright.

It was at this point that I remembered I was wearing only a bra, because my stomach had started to adhere to the ice. I yanked myself away very quickly, and gave myself a hickey-looking road rash across my stomach. (How will I explain THAT to the hubby?)

I carefully crawled on my hands and knees back inside the house. And, after a thorough inspection of all my parts, I am assured that they are all still there. However, in the process, I have managed to pull every single muscle in my body. Even my toenails hurt.

So, I am here at work, popping Advil like m&m's, moving like Mr. Roboto, pondering my entry in the next winter Olympics. Perhaps ice-slipper-flipping is better suited for the x-games, but none-the-less, I am sure it will be a big hit.