Fountain of Youth

I woke up this morning with another wrinkle. It runs from the corner of my eye down my cheek. It is a long wrinkle and runs perpendicular to my other wrinkles. Seriously, this is getting friggen ridiculous. I understand that I am getting older and all, but I have been moisturizing religiously since I was 15. I have tried every cream, lotion and potion know to man, but nothing seems to be slowing these suckers down a bit.

I have to confess that I purchased a very expense bottle of "miracle cream" recently. This was the most I have ever spent on lotion by far, and I was quite suprised at how small the bottle was. I think there must be liquid gold inside. I thought for sure there would be an armed guard to escort me out of the store, but the clerk didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Apparantly they sell a lot of this stuff. Anyway, this was guaranteed to give you younger looking skin or you would get your money back. So, it has to work? Right?

Well, I guess you could say I have younger looking skin. I have broken out like a pubescent teenager. I haven't had this many zits since 9th grade. Perhaps this is what they were refering to as the guarantee to make you look younger. The acne is hiding my wrinkles, I guess.

I am not at the point yet where I would pay for botox or anything, I'm still to cheap for that. But if someone was handing out free samples, you bet your booty I would be the first one in line. Anyone know any plastic surgeons I could be good buddies with?