More tales from Water World

Major drama in the pool. Serious drama.

Someone is trying to steal my thunder and replace me as the cutest girl in the pool. WTF?????? Can you believe that?????? I'm devastated.

Betty not only wears her fancy beaded necklace that perfectly matches her insanely bright floral bathing suit, but she also comes to therapy completely drunk. And I friggen LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE her. Seriously, she is the "batshit crazy lady who is missing her tinfoil hat" that now adds a wonderful touch of unpredictability to my aquatic therapy. And she is cute as a button.

If I had to guess, I'd say she is in her late 80's. But she says she's "50 and holding."

On our first day of therapy together, I was going through the normal motions of my routine, and Betty sashayed up beside me. I soon realized that she wanted to talk, and I was the lucky listener.

"Do you think this shit even works? I started this God-damned therapy shit last week, and now every damn part of me hurts instead of my back."

(Did I mention that I LA-HOVE her?)

Our trainer quickly caught on to our chat and decided to separate us and attempt to make us work a bit harder.

As I did my fancy cross-country swim across the pool, I heard Betty yell "you rotten bastard, how in the hell is that gonna help my damn back?"

I was laughing so hard I almost drowned.

Seriously, I am beginning to think that the only thing that could make my therapy any better is if they served wine.

Perhaps Betty is on to something. . .