Urban Legends

I was much better prepared for day two with hunky Kevin. I was motivated enough to take a bath and put on some clean clothes. (Since I needed a crane - aka Paco -, some 2-in-1 oil and a spatula to get in and out if the tub, it took some serious motivation.) I even ran a brush through my hair and put on some make-up. I'm pretty sure that it looked like my 4 year old painted my face, but at least I felt (and smelled) a bit better.

By my third appointment I was on a roll. I was sporting both prom-hair and jewelry. By my fourth appointment I was calling him "Kev." I figured since he spent so much time fondling my leg that I could at least give him a pet name.

On my 5th appointment, Kev decided to unwrap my bandages and see how my scar was healing. After he finished unraveling the bandages, it was quite obvious that I hadn't shaved my knee since the surgery. There was a mohawk of white blonde hair sticking up around my scar. Kev gently brushed my scar and then looked up at me with his sparkly eyes and his dreamy smile and said "Well look at that! I thought blonde hair was a myth!"

I wasn't quite sure how to react because I knew that at that point he was envisioning whether or not the um, carpet matched the drapes. (If you know what I'm saying.) And the thought of him thinking of me that way made me turn 47 shades of red. I almost blurted out that due to a waxing incident I was actually sporting shiny hardwoods, but even with a healthy dose of percocet I managed to hold my tongue. Phew.

Needless to say, I am the star PT patient. I have made such incredible progress that my surgeon can't believe it. My Dr. informed me that I have made the best recovery of any patient he has EVER had. The fact that I am an overweight, twenty nine year old (cough*cough) mother of 3 totally blows his mind. I should've fessed up that I was working super hard to impress my hunky intern Kev, but instead I just basked in his glorious praise. (And, um, my husband was at my appointment with me.)

Sadly, Kev is on break now, so he hasn't been at my appointments. Needless to say, I am back to wearing shabby sweats and bed head. I'm saving myself . . .